I don’t think the Exponent will print that one

As a student of Purdue, I am privileged to have a semi decent student newspaper that prints on a regular basis, and as such, you should all be well aware that where there is print media there is a gaggle of human beings that just can’t wait to have their opinion heard on whatever in the town happens to be a foot. I recently wrote in defending the Newpaper’s comic artist [who writes some very internet savvy comics], from several folks who had gone about to calling her writing / drawing style terrible. Now of course, to each their own as to what they want from a newspaper, and I could really care less which comics are actually in the student newspaper, but I can’t resist when someone goes out of their way to be hypercritical of people they don’t know. One could argue that I have a terrible tendency to do that myself, and I won’t disagree with that, in fact if anything I embrace it. I think the truth of the matter is that we attack most what we see in others [Which according to this blog would make me a… furry, who buys Pixels from WoW, with a love of twitter, and a love of religion… I think half of these are true]. That having been put aside, I sent in something a week or so back mimicking the layout of  a previous letter and described those criticizing the comic artist humorless, of course forgetting the audience I was writing to wouldn’t understand sarcasm / trolling / the likes,  I woke up today knowing full well that the paper would be filled with those who would choose to attack everything I had said and turn it into some delicious drama. And much to my delight it was filled with several people doing exactly that, I suppose that makes me a horrible person >.>…

Anyway, I give the exponent a lot of credit for what they put up with [including me], and I’m always happy to see them remain pretty neutral on most subjects, or if they aren’t neutral they tend to agree with my particular opinion set, and nothing makes my morning like confirmation bias. They’re essentially a liberal newspaper giggling to itself in a very conservative town which makes it all the funnier when the crazies do eventually write in. They also have to put up with a different student news paper called the Purdue review which shows up whenever who prints it actually finds some cash after the young republicans meetings. All and all its a delightful kind of paradigm that exist on campus and keeps me distracted from the dulls of the day.

Anyway, I digress, after seeing the letters today I couldn’t help but respond, the big thing of course is that the exponent does decide to cap some conversations so that something doesn’t drag on for the rest of eternity [like locking a thread, but hilarious], and I imagine that the vote is going to be pretty one-sided against me for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, the college of butthurt here at Purdue has a nasty persecution complex, and while I suppose it may be earned to some degree, watching the exponent when one of the liberal arts majors gets made fun of is more hilarious than dead baby jokes. I actually didn’t originally even care what college the letter I responded to was from, and if anything I was just looking for an excuse to defend the comic because I quite like it, as it’s a turn away from “lol American generic comic” which plagues the newspapers today. Of course, Purdue, being a college founded by Agriculture, funded by Engineering, and propelled by drama has a problem admitting that the majority of the campus is probably of a more nerdy persuasion. It’s like watching a fat child deny it likes chocolate because it’s arm is simply to hip for that. It reminds me of that show on cartoon network called Mission Hill, where the main character decided to help some Jocks get into Yale, and then had a nightmare that Yale was taken over by frat children. While I suppose it’s an illusion to pretend that Purdue doesn’t have a population of people who think themselves popular rather than nerdy, I have always viewed it as an engineering school.

But this is all getting off the subject of what exactly I don’t think the Exponent will print, well unless there is nothing better to print that is. While the exponent attracts crazies like a moth to flame, I don’t think they can print emotions, and while my first thought was to simply write the following

Dear College of Butthurt,



Some part of me thought that might be tacky, so in stead I wrote the following:

In response to Ms. Fine and everyone else, I only learned how to write degrading and untrue things about somebody from the best (e.g. Ms. Fine’s Letter about Spaceghost). I invite everyone to read it, and truly, I think if there is anyone to blame here It’s Ms. Fine for not providing me with a better template off which to base the writing of my original letter. Until then, I suggest we take everything literally and implore everyone believe that what is written into the trolling section of the Exponent is to be considered the actual opinion of those writing it, without any sense of sarcasm.

Also, because Reading comprehension is supposed to be the College of Liberal Arts Job, I strongly suggest that we go over “A Humorless Liberal Arts College Student !=  (That’s Does Not Equal) All  Liberal Arts Students Are Humorless”.

And on a final note, Ms Fine’s mention of “you have no idea who you are talking to”, the answer is of course not because names in a newspaper opinion section are pretty much summarized by what they have written in previously, and given that I don’t really care who you are, my verdict remains that of “Humorless”. If you’d like me to care more, you can of course friend me on facebook or some other delightful social network and post videos of cats to prove just how humorous you are! 😀

Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go back to being in a major actually represented in the top 10 when surveying highest paid careers.

Which is pretty much the same thing, just in text form. Now depending on how decent the letters are, and how much of the pot I managed to stir when I wrote the original, I’m probably that one guy who no one finds funny at all in this situation, but for the good of my non existent honor, I just had to write something. Of all my letters, these are probably the least funny, and just me being irritated with people whom I view as needing a sense of humor, thus my thought that they may not get printed. Anyway, I’m 90% I spelled something wrong, or got something grammatically incorrect, but that’s ok, I’m sure it won’t come back to bite me to hard.

I figure my friends might enjoy the letter.

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4 Responses to I don’t think the Exponent will print that one

  1. Jennifurret says:

    God, I wish they would run Trollface. That would be amazing.

  2. I think you’ve made someone who’s crazy, look even crazier! Well played!

  3. Dark Matter says:

    I would totally run the image. Failing that, I would totally run the text version thereof.

    • fullphaser says:

      Heh, yeah I was more surprised that people were jumping off the way about my off comment about her being a humorless liberal arts students somehow means that I think that way about all liberal arts students, or even any number greater than 1.

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